The world of human sexuality is dramatized by reality television and affected by advertising. The media, celebrities, and pop culture define a very specific look as “sexy.” Women’s round hips and big breasts are desirable, while other physical traits are not. However, the attributes that are supposed to be universally desired are, in fact, not universal at all. Beauty is defined differently according to culture and the time period. The one steadfast commonality is that we are most truly aroused by the individual within our partners.
Perhaps we have lost sight of the meaning of a healthy sexual relationship with a partner. Maybe we don’t find ourselves “sexy” compared to 120 lb. models in lingerie commercials, magazines, and on reality T.V. shows.
For whatever reason, sex may have lost its appeal. What used to be more, more, more is now chore, chore, chore.
What’s going on? The possible causes vary greatly. Sometimes there is an obvious reason, such a hormone deficiency or depression. It may be due to a health-related problem, fatigue, decreased energy, poor sleep, PMS, pain, vaginal dryness, or headaches. Often there is a hidden problem such as excessive stress, trouble in your current relationship, or past abuse, all of which have significant impacts on sexual intimacy. These problems may need to be treated or resolved before you experience a change in your libido.
Physical, mental, and emotional health is key to a vibrant sex life.
Steps to enhancing your libido
- Communication. Simply setting aside time to talk with your partner is a good start. Picking the right time and right place for this discussion is key to success.
- Mood. Women often take responsibility for getting into the mood. Giving yourself a day without decisions, demands or deadlines is a great way to create the mood.
- Intimacy. Take time for the personal connection.
- Sensuality. Consider the sight of the bedroom and your personal preferences for smell, touch, taste and sound.
- Passion. Remember, the brain is the biggest sex organ in the body. Talk to your partner, be vulnerable, take risks and laugh together.